When I first saw the Beyoncé postpartum picture I wasn't very surprised that she looked "flawless". After taking a deeper look it made me think about the constant pressure our culture puts on us to heal quickly.
In the age of tummy tucks vs. sit ups, quick money vs. savings bonds, and butt injections vs. squats, we've succumb to the pressure of not missing a beat, or having prolonged moments of "ugliness".
I myself, have fallen victim to giving the appearance of healed vs. true wholeness. How many times have you posted something on social media that was contrary to how you actually felt, just because you didn't want to seem too broken? Our society has primed us to display a form of wholeness, but denying the actual power of healing.
The problem with this unrealistic, Botox injected society, is that if the healing is fake so is the emotional stability. Similarly to butt injections after a few years... IT WILL FALL...and be lumpy...a bit disproportioned...and noticeable to everyone except you.
So what is the fix?
Healing....its one of those things that can only take place with TIME....time requires patience.
(Can I preach to myself ??) We often want to rush past this part because its the least glamorous, and doesn't strike vengeance on those who probably enjoy seeing you, not at your best. Unfortunately there is no way around it. What we can do, is work to not prolong the process. Faking it, is one of those things.
Now I'm not saying walk around looking crazy, or don't use your time productively. But, I am saying, be honest with yourself, and resist the urge to inject fakeness into your wound, because the infection will only delay the healing, or worse kill you in the process.
If you are someone struggling with where to start, I offer these suggestions.
1. Get some honest people around you. ( like your grandma that you avoid because she keeps it too real). Sometimes people like this can be annoying, but every now and then you need someone to shine a bright light on your mess.
2. Don't hide behind godliness, but truly depend on God. (meaning you should pray more than you tweet about praying)
3. Go get yourself a counselor! It is ok, to not be ok! We all need help at some point. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you need to speak to a professional. We are often too hung up on what our parents didn't need, or never tried....and that's a big reason why the dysfunction has continued.
I'm not an expert, and I don't profess to have it all together, but I've experienced enough to know what doesn't work. Hopefully you can learn from my mistakes.