It is...What It Is...

Sometimes the hardest things to let go of, are the things that are out of your control. I think most of us would prefer to think that we can accomplish anything we put our mind to. In most cases, this can be true. But in some, it couldn't be the furthest from it. For the eternal optimist, this concept is even harder to accept. The same thing that drives them to accomplish great things, also prevents them from having what should come natural. Its hard to explain but when things are truly out of your control, attempts to control it, usually make the situation worse, rather than better. Case in point, when I was married, my ex-husband was diagnosed with severe PTSD. He was a military veteran, who had seen things some people couldn't even imagine. In my optimistic attempts to help save our marriage, I wanted to try everything I could to help him. Unfortunately, trying, only made things worse. The harder we tried the worse it got. From counseling, to talking, to therapy, his anger only increased with every failed attempt. My inability to accept his diagnosable anger and his inability to change it, led us to a very unhealthy relationship. Eventually our trying, led to us separate.Today I see that our separation was for the best, but at the time acceptance seemed like failure. You see, most of us "successful people", don't like things that are unfixable. We are cocky enough to believe that if we don't have the answer, the answer has to exist somewhere.

This is, the very reason Google was created. Don't get me wrong seeking truth and solutions is not a bad idea. However, seeking answers to questions that are out of your control can result in a catastrophic situation. Have you ever forgot your password to an account, and instead of resetting it, you continue to make failed attempts? For those of you who are eternally optimistic, with a taste of cocky, this has probably happened more than once. What generally happens in those scenarios, is that, you get "locked out".

Getting "locked out" is probably the ultimate failure to an optimist. Especially when they feel as if the answer should be within reach. If you think about it, the time that was spent "locked out", could have easily been used to reset the password in the first place. But, to an optimist, reset is failure.