Work In Progress...
So today is my birthday and I couldn't be more indifferent about it. I haven't pulled together some new outlook on life, or decided to capitalize on the day by forcing people to care who probably wouldn't normally.
For the first time, it feels like just another day. I have no grandiose vision of what should take place. It's quite sobering actually. On the surface I seem to have this blossoming, purpose filled life, but at my core I'm still working through insecurities, struggling to let go of unrequited love, and learning to deal with feelings of loneliness and abandonment. Not much of a celebratory post, I know.
But I cant ignore that I have experienced one of my most spiritually stretching years ever, and I'm still here. As of lately, God's favor has been on full display in my life and He's managed to cover my shortcomings in the process. I'm not a millionaire, but God has met every need. My heart is still broken in places, but its finally soft enough to be molded. My patience is still lacking but my purpose has never been more clear.
Although this space in my life is awkward and a bit uncomfortable I finally "get it". It is reminiscent to the word God gave Jeremiah about the potter's house. "So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him." Jeremiah 18:3-4